Need advice on what to do about getting my ex GF back
September 11, 2008 by admin
Filed under Relationship Q & A
Basically I am hoping that you might be able to help me with a plan of action.
The background to my situation is such. A year ago my ex gf and i broke up, it was my fault since I started talking to my ex gf before her. Nothing happened but my gf couldnt take the thought of loosing me and cut it off before she got hurt again and but still she was devastated by me (understand she was married before and her husband cheated on her, and with me she told me she had loved me more then him). I tried everything I could to get her back but someone introduced her to another guy about a month after the break-up (I guess to help her get over me, since she was hurt so bad) and they have been together ever since. Now about 2 months ago, I heard from her. Appearhently she was looking at my myspace page some, and she started to make contact. She has been telling me alot of things like she wants to be with me and she still loves me and so on (understand this is not a girl who plays around or minces words but puts thought into what she says or does). I have talked with her casually and at times she has brought up our past relationship, including how our “love-life” was, and also asks if I have dates and such. So it is obviously something that she is concerned with and has mentioned to me things like how would it effect me if we got back together knowing that she has been with this bf or questions like what if my ex gf or someone else came along. Now she has told me she wants this but it will take time, she also stated that she was very confused because she loves her BF now and doesnt want to hurt him with her decision. Now we have been talking, but she will only allow for texting (only speaking on the phone once in 6 weeks). Ok, well she suddenly starts becoming a little distant over the last two weeks. So from advice of friends I was instructed to back off and give her some space. So I do but I write her the following email on tuesday morning so she knows i am not giving up or anything:
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I assume that the lapse in communication between us is really your way to give yourself the space and time you had talked about needing for us to be together again.
With that in mind, I am going to (with all my heart) honor that with a hope that you will talk to me when you are ready.
Know I think about you and love you so much.
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Now I havent heard anything back until wednesday night to which she sends me the following email
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Hey! I hope everything is going well. How did Meg handle the funeral? Is she doing okay? I have just been busy working and trying to straighten a few things out. Hope you are doing good. Jess
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So i respond immediately with the follwoing:
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- everything is great. just went under contract on a house. it is NIIIIIIICE! and i am getting a deal too. meg started school today. i am getting things together to start school in a few.
- she didnt go to the funeral. we went to the wake and she couldnt take it another day so we went to “meet the teacher” day and then after we went to the gathering after the burial.
- yep she is ok. that girl can take anything. even her cast doesnt seem to bother or slow her down
- well i hope all is going well with that (referencing the things needing to be straightened out) and you.
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i received another text from her just asking how my daughter and i are doing and saying that she hopes i had a great day. I responded back. and I got another text from her that basically said “sounds good, well i am off to bed. you two have a good night 
”
So i have been receiving some text some e-mails, but basically general in nature. Today I saw on her myspace that her BF is taking her to the gulf, but i got a message from her this morning. that doesnt mean it isnt happening tonight, but i want to send her something that says like what are you doing? why arent you trying like you said you would?
Since then I havent heard anything.
My friends tell me to leave it be. Be a man of your word and give her space. Other have told me it is a good sign she wrote back and even better that she is still asking questions.
I just guess i am wound too tight right now. I love this woman more then she or I know and she hasnt given me a chance to prove to her how 1) sorry i am 2) how it will never happen again 3) how much i love her, and 4) how happy we can be together.
Please advise me. Please guide me. Thank you for all the positive and constructive help.
Carlota
Holy **** that’s long..add a cliffs or something.
As for her: just let it go man..women are not worth it.
just ask joe from joecall.com
wow, way too long to read
JUST HAVE *** WITH THE NEXT WOMAN U SEE! DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT JUST DO IT
!!
shorter description please! Maybe that’s why she broke up with you. I would just move the fu*k on **** its been a year.
Tell her how you feel, and if she feels the same way then you guys can work through the past
hmm… i have 2 choices for you! 1.Get her a gift 2.I dont reccomend you do this but go emo
i think she is still scared of getting hurt but if you show her that nothing and i mean nothng can get in the way of you loving her then she will come back to you but you will just have to wait because if you love her that much you will wait as long as it takes and if she sees that then she will come back
not even in high school i have read so much
Let her be. She has a boyfriend now and apparently won’t break up with him.
She’s showing a lack of respect to her boyfriend by initiating secret conversations and such. Just so you know how she’s presenting herself – as a person who will not hesitate to cheat on someone. Go ahead and get with her, but you’re next to be cheated on.
wow, this sounds like the past 6 months of my life. it sounds like you have an understanding of her past. with that in mind, she is extremely vulnerable and will be extremely cautious, especially when things didn’t work out with you two the first time around. she is going to need a lot of affirmation and proof that you want her. proof in the form of actions, not words. and yes, she will need a lot of time and space. i know it’s hard to give because you don’t want to lose her, but it sounds like she is still interested in you. her current relationship complicates things, so she is very confused. it’s a fantastic sign that she is maintaining that communication, so keep that up, but don’t pressure her or push her too much. just let her know you are still there for her. as for yourself, keep busy and don’t do anything to make her mistrust you. remember — actions speak louder than words. i can go on and on, but you probably get the gist of this…
I AGREE WITH YOUR FRIENDS . GIVE HER THE SPACE SHE ASKED FOR. WHEN SHES READY SHE WILL TALK. ITS A GOOD SIGN THOUGH THAT SHE SENT U A MESSAGE. IT MEANS SHE IS GIVING THE SITUATION SOME THOUGHT. BE PATIENT. GOOD LUCK!!!!
Fresh Flowers from!
They deliver the flowers tooo so go visit it now
I really think you CAN get your ex back but you have to have a plan or else your going to make things worse. Know what I mean?
I’d suggest signing up at…
….
It’s free(though they do recommend some ebook which I HIGHLY recommend giving a try but you don’t have to)
You’ll get all kinds of awesome free advice and stuff like that…
hope it helps and good luck getting your ex back!!!
-Katie : )
Say ONE thing and then leave her to it. The importance will be in the one thing you say. It has to convey everything you’re feeling but with strength and not with desperation. Let her know that you’re there for her and you only want her but that you’re putting the ball in her court. Don’t faff about with options and stuff, it only draws it out. If you’re what she wants, she needs to make her move. Once you’ve given her the message (face to face or on the phone ONLY) then back off for good, unless she makes contact.