Get Your Ex Back Deal – With Your Anger First
Getting your ex back is a piece of cake when you really think about it. After all, you are talking about a person that was madly in love with you at one point in your life. Not too long ago you might have thought it was absurd to think that you would ever have to make them fall in love with you again. They probably told you every day that they loved you. Chances are you never left the house without saying goodbye and receiving a kiss. And every night you might have kissed before going to sleep.
But now your life has been turned upside down and where there was once love there is a multitude of emotions. A breakup can literally be an emotional roller coaster. One minute your up and optimistic and the next your down in the dumps.
In order to get to the point where you can even think about getting your ex back it might be necessary to work through some of these emotions so you can be better prepared when the time does come to get back together. After all, you won’t want to unload on your ex with all of these emotions when you are just about to get back together, right?
Use these effective coping techniques to help work through your emotions as you begin your campaign to get your ex back
Writing Letters – If it were twenty years ago I would suggest that you write a letter to your ex and let out all the anger and rage that you have over your breakup on a piece of paper. Once you had poured your heart out about how hurt and angry you were you could either tear the paper to shreds, set it ablaze or save it for a rainy day. If you saved it you could look back and use it to gauge how your feelings and circumstances had changed.
Although this technique still could work today it might be equally effective and perhaps a little easier if you typed out an email to them. Really pour your heart out and let loose with every little thing that has been on your mind. Write about how lonely you are, how poorly you feel you have been treated throughout the breakup or how much you love your partner and all that you did to try to rebuild your relationship. Create a free email account and send your letters to that email address. Just be careful that you don’t send these emails to your ex by mistake and delete them out of your sent items before you get back together.
Yell, Scream, Cry – Yes, yelling, screaming and crying in the solitude of your home can be a very effective way to release these emotions. You will be being true to yourself and what you feel when you outwardly express these emotions in a safe way. Nobody gets hurt so there is no reason to feel guilty. Chances are that after a good screaming match with a picture of your ex you might feel a strange sort of relief… as if you have been cleansed of these emotions that you have been holding inside. Of course, if you live in an apartment or have roommates it might be necessary to do this when nobody is around.
Crying, in itself, has its own healing effect. Crying until you are all “cried out” will leave you feeling renewed and as if a great burden has been lifted from your shoulders. Most women know this (no offense) and many men have at one point or another felt the satisfaction and relief that comes after having a really good cry.
Take it Out Physically – When you feel angry or upset or frustrated with the situation take it out physically on a punching bag or do some other sort of physical exercise. Run, jog or walk as you run everything over in your head. Go ahead! Get angry and work it out physically. Install a chin up bar in the house and any time you feel angry or upset do chin ups, pushup or sit-ups until you are exhausted.
The bonus in this is that before long you’re appearance is going to improve by working out your frustration and anger. This definitely will be a very powerful contributing factor that will help you to get your ex back. When they see you for the first time after some time has passed they will notice the change and see that you’re looking even better than they remembered. How sweet is that?
Use these three helpful coping techniques to work through the anger and frustration that accompanies a breakup and you will be well on your way to creating the foundation necessary to win your ex back.
The best guide that details the steps to take to get your ex back, can be found by clicking here.
How to Get Your Ex Back
When thinking about how to get your ex back, you may have a strong desire to talk things through with your ex… you might think that if you could get them to sit down and discuss the problems in your relationship you might be able to convince them not to end the relationship. You might think that the easiest way to get them back might be to sit down and calmly discuss their grievances and once you have overcome all their objections they will happily come running back to you.
Please don’t kid yourself for a minute by thinking that talking things through will ever work. Chances are that even offers to attend counseling on your own or together are probably going to fall on deaf ears. Chances are that if your relationship was on a downhill slide for a while an offer to discuss any problems or attend counseling will appear to be a last ditch effort to manipulate your ex into getting back together.
This is not to say that counseling doesn’t have its place in a relationship. Counseling can be a very powerful and effective tool to help cement your relationship once both you and your partner have decided that getting back together is what you both desire. A counselor can be an impartial referee that can point out areas that both of you might wish to work on separately and together to help enhance your relationship.
As far as wanting to sit down with your ex and discuss what went wrong in the relationship, for the moment, nothing good can come of this. Any desire that you might say you have for “closure” or some sort of understanding of what went wrong stands little chance of being helpful to you. Haven’t you been hurt enough as it is? Why subject yourself to further rejection? Why do you want to know in detail why this person who loved you so much at one time now desires to be apart from you? Spare yourself the pain, retain your dignity and leave that discussion for another day.
Now is the time for you to rebuild yourself and heal from the wounds that you have suffered at the hands of your ex. Yes, it may be helpful at some point to take an inventory of yourself and see if there is any truth in the accusations that your ex has hurled at you. See if your ex has indeed pointed out any areas that you also feel are unacceptable in your life and set about to make some changes if you feel that YOU might benefit in the long run.
Again, there is nothing wrong with visiting a counselor if that is the route that you wish to take. But your first order of business before inviting them along or discussing “what’s wrong with you” should be to set about formulating a game plan on how to get your ex back.