Win Her Back – Knowing When to Back Off
It is easy to get excited when the opportunity presents itself and the time comes when your ex gets back in touch with you. Caution is the word for the day though if you want to get your ex back and win her heart once again. How you handle things during this critical stage can make or break your relationship and you don’t want to screw things up and wind up worse off than you were before your ex started speaking with you again, right?
It is easy to allow your excitement to cloud your thinking and to actually destroy the progress that you have made with your well meaning intentions. A good rule of thumb should be that if your ex begins to back off you should, yourself, back off also.
It may be difficult for you to discern when things are about to go awry and know what to do. If, for instance, she doesn’t call when she said that she would, don’t begin to call her to check on her. Instead, patiently wait for her to re-initiate contact with you. If you don’t hear anything for a couple of days it is ok to send her a text message or an email asking if she is ok. The exception to this is if you are dealing with a woman who is infamous for doing this… telling you that she will call you yet never does. Never mention that she said that she was going to call but instead make your contact a simple check in to see how she is doing.
If you make plans to meet and she doesn’t show up resist the urge to call her and ask her what happened. Allow her the opportunity to re-initiate contact with you. Patiently remain silent and allow her to be the one to come to you if things have been friendly and cordial as the two of you work through getting back together.
It is a big step for a woman to change her mind and go back to someone that she has broken up with. Often doubt begins to creep in and she might get a little flipped out. She will have times when she is afraid of making that decision to get back together. Give her time and be patient with her. Depending upon the reasons why you broke up and how the breakup has gone, it may take a while for her to trust you again and really commit to the relationship again. You are on the right track though and taking two steps forward and one step back isn’t uncommon at all.
What are some other signs that she is beginning to back off or that things are about to go wrong again? Each woman is a little bit different but try to stay attuned to her body language, tone of voice, periods of silence and if you feel as if she is becoming critical and things are leading towards an argument. Often people will almost “pick” a fight in order to prove that things aren’t going to work out to avoid intimacy.
If you begin to pick up on any of these warning signs it might be a good time to suddenly become busy or find the need to remove yourself from the situation. If you are on the phone you can end the conversation by saying that you need to go but if you are meeting in person this might be a little more challenging. Honesty is always the best policy and telling her that you really should run and that it was nice to see her again is short, sweet, to the point and honest.
Always end things on a good note, even if it’s only a five minute conversation, and given some time your ex may see that you don’t want to argue with her and that you’re not pushing her or trying to control the situation. Eventually, things will begin to fall into place and your backing off any time there is tension will begin to bring about a change in her slowly but surely.